Throughout our time fostering, and now about to adopt, we have always agreed that we would be transparent about the cost of adopting.
But my answer is not going to be a popular one.
Everyone immediately thinks about money when I say the phrase "what it costs". Yes, money plays a role; but it's much smaller than you would think.
Every foster agency in the state of Texas is contracted with a specific list of attorneys that are then contracted with the state for adoptions. Meaning that the state then pays for the cost of the attorney. Our attorney is covered by the state of Texas (aka, our tax dollars).
Out of pocket we will pay for the new birth certificate and the filing fees. This totals to be less than $200. Let me repeat that for the people in the back, LESS THAN $200.
Yes have we paid for extra curricular's, therapies, and special clothes for the kids? Yes! We did not have to do that. There are countless "foster closets" in the local area that donate basic needs, carseats, and clothes monthly.
But that's not the focus of this post.
What does it really cost? It costs your comfortability. The call to love.
When we first started fostering I really struggled with de-attaching. I made a point to NOT attach to our foster baby. I do not like vulnerability and I did not want to get attached to a child that was going to be taken from me. Man oh man did the Lord change my heart! And quickly! Surrendering to that was the hardest and the best thing I have done since starting this journey.
A dear friend of mine sat on my living room floor with me and sobbed with me when we first started fostering. She has experienced adoption before and she kind of just gave me some tough love - it was worth it to surrender and attach, no matter the outcome. Even if it was hard. Love does hard things. Her telling me that and then praying over me and our family about it really helped me overcome "the scaries" of giving my all to this child that I did not create. And now, I cannot imagine our lives without him. In fact, my older children think that I did carry him in my belly!
Fostering will cost you everything. Your sleep. Your privacy. Your tears. Your time. Your love. Your energy. You name it, and it will be effected.
But again, the cost for you is nothing compared to the cost of a child being in a loving caring, God fearing home. Priceless.
"If anyone is poor among your fellow Israelites in any of the towns of the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not be hardhearted or tightfisted toward them. Rather, be openhanded and freely lend them whatever they need."
Deuteronomy 15:7-8
“Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty."
Job 6:14
"Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power to act."
Proverbs 3:27
"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy."
Proverbs 31: 8-9
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves."
Romans 12:9-10
With love,
Jo
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